im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
