You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
