Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
