If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
