How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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