It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
