You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
