Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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