dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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