Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
