Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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