Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
