Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm experimenting with sincerity
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
