we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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