Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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