Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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