I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
