Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
