i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
