I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
