no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
