Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
