That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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