So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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