Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
