Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
