this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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