Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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