dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
