idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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