dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
