We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
