I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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