im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
