Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
They have beer where we have blood.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize