Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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