I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
