It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
