the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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