So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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