don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Vodka?
Forever.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
