I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
