So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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