remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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