shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
