i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
