You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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