Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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