its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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