and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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