the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
