We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
