Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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