Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
