I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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