That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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